Items you should not have to address in employee orientation... but we must!

OK, you must be over 18 to be employed full-time by our organization. Most employees are over 21 for insurance reasons. There are some items that by the age of 18 you should know are wrong and an employer should not have to state them in a new hire orientation, however in the past 4 years working so closely with Human Resources with my current company I have realized that is thought process is wrong. It falls in the same line of wishing on a star, using a magic 8 ball, flipping a coin, etc.


I have begun to compile a list of these items and I am sure this list will grow as long as my job involves dealing with employees.

Just to be clear a violation of any of the stated items below will result in me having to sever our working relationship. In other words: you will be terminated.

1. If you get arrested while driving on duty, do not call the company to bail you out of jail. The company will not post bail money for you to get out of jail.

2. If you are driving a company vehicle when you are arrested and the company vehicle gets impounded, we will bail our vehicle out and we will deduct the impound and any other associated fees from your next paycheck.

3. You cannot sleep at your desk, in a company vehicle, or at work while on the clock at all. No expectations you do not get paid to sleep.

4. Per the employee handbook if you no call, no show a single shift you are terminating your own employment with the company. (YOU QUIT) 
You must call in to work each day you are going to be absent unless you have previously clear with a supervisor that you will be away for a specific number of days. If you call in 1 day because you do not have a sitter and you have 2 sick days still to use during the year, you cannot be gone the next 2 days also without notifying a supervisor prior to your shift starting. We do not assume that if you do not show up or call you are using your sick days. We assume you quit your job.

5. Do not tell me that you just decided to stay home and bake cookies 1 day and that is why you did not come to work. You have no reason why you did not call - except you were baking cookies. (Then you don't bring any cookies - REALLY?)

6. It is unacceptable to have porn at work. Even if the people who generally work in your area are of the same sex as you. It is still a violation of the sexual harassment policy. Even other guys or gals may not want to have pornographic magazine laying on the bathroom floor at the office.

7. You cannot come to work intoxicated, drink alcohol at work, take drugs at work, etc. Even prescription medications that cause you to be impaired will result in you being sent home. YOU CAN NOT BE IMPARED AT WORK.

8. If your job involves delivering medications to patients, DO NOT ask a patient if "they have anything for pain" for your tooth, headache, etc. They will assume that you are aware of what medications you are delivering to them and that you are asking them for narcotic medications. These patients may also feel that if they do not give you what you are asking for you may with hold their medications or make them wait and they may feel pressure to give you some of their medications. This is WRONG! It is not protecting the patient and if you see #7 it is also a violation of that.

9. If you are driving a company vehicle and you have road rage, drive recklessly, and give other drivers a hand gesture that is not normally accepted to mean they are number 1 (flip off, give the bird, etc.). They may notice the company name and phone number on the vehicle and they may call and report you. Information will be gathered, such as vehicle description, driver description, time of day, where the incident occurred, etc. This information will be compared with your cell records, driving log, etc. and if it is determined that the incident did occur... well you know...

this is by no means a complete list and it will be a working document.